No I am not.

Gross. Champagne. Ee.

People also think they’re married to the Golden Gate Bridge so.

Ratatouille awareness is far, far too low.

Amen

I’m cool with someone deciding to do this.

I mean, I’ll decide not to go on the date, but that you do you.

Your lack of ability to judge my character leading up to the date, and the general sense of paranoia leading to a decision like this, aren’t qualities I’m looking for in a partner.

Neither is starting things from a place of outright suspicion. Like. I’m not judging. I just have zero interest.

Yeah but can a sex bot piss in my mouth while sucking my dick while I yell “but mommy I don’t like apple juice”?

I masturbate until I forget about the decision I have to make and then put off cleaning my apartment until I finally just run out, randomly pull the lever, and never think of the consequences again.

Of course by that point everyone has already starved to death which is the worst possible outcome.

Dicks out for Jane goodall

Reddit used to be like this. The enshittification happened so gradually.

They’ve been blocking Vons for years.

The absolute degradation of the site is appalling. And most of the comments read like they’re written by children, because I’m assuming most of them are.

The absolute stupidity of everything on the site is flabberghasting.

You can download everything posted on Reddit prior to the great api ban in a torrent. So yeah it’s still out there.

Have someone squeeze the pumpkin so the wet stuff comes out and it looks like the pumpkin is pooping in your mouth.

I remember this game. It came out in the 90s. I think it was called die by the sword.

Yeah that was it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die_by_the_Sword

Hail Satan!

I see Canada. Walking around like normal people. But it doesn’t know it’s Canada.

Hello, this is Canada.

Can I get mine with a side of polyamory please?

THE BUMPS MADE HER VAGINA DO AN ORGASM

Warning: side effects include: a condition known as moneyspend, injury to yourself, strangers, and/or loved ones, urinating in alleys, acute cocaine intoxication, “wherethefucka i”, “what the fuck happened last night itis”, post sexual coitus encephalitis, limp dick, dry vagina, a nagging desire for lager bombs, poor Mexican accents, acute vitamin c poisoning, dehydration, a condition known as dirt knees. If you experience nausea, committing, or good judgment please consult a doctor immediately and consume more tequila. It’s important that you do not operate heavy machinery while taking tequila unless it is a forklift or skid steer.