got in trouble once for swearing in school. the teacher made me tell my parents i’d have detention the next day. i didn’t tell my parents, didn’t know how i’d get myself out of this pickle, woke up the next day to a few inches of snow on the ground (in march, in north carolina) and school was cancelled. teacher never brought it up, and apart from remembering it vividly, never suffered any consequences.

oh, and another time when i had just gotten my license and someone almost clipped into my front bumper on the interstate so i jerked the wheel and ended up doing almost a 540 at 70mph in 3 lanes of traffic. i jerked the wheel left like a dumbass to avoid getting hit, started to spin, jerked the wheel back to the right (continuing the dumbass trend), did a rotation and a quarter. didn’t hit anything and landed facing the correct direction on the shoulder. what really surprised me was how little i actually had to jerk the wheel to make it lose traction.

Porcupine Tree - Where We Would Be comes to mind for me.

if you haven’t heard of air, it’s an invisible blend of gases so addictive, we suffer fatal withdrawal symptoms within minutes of our supply being cut off

ah yes, right around the time he announces his healthcare overhaul plans

if fancy toilets are your primary concern, i think japan is where you want to go

can my wife and i sell our residency for $5m each?

just gotta grease the right palms

adjustable bed to sleep at an incline, or if i’m on vacation in a hotel i make a T-shape out of the pillows to incline as best i can from the waist up. if my sinuses feel clogged at all before bed i might take a claritin or something. exercise to get rid of some body fat also seems to have helped.

Absolutely devastating… that someone like him can make it to 96.

But at the beginning she clearly gets out of the left side

And maybe I need to add /s, that’s my bad

It’s so hard to tell though, every other time she gets in and out of the American side

It would be so cool if they could be melted down and harvested for resources. A lot of good could be accomplished with $340bn.

They’re not looking at the big picture. When child labor laws get repealed they can hire 10-year-olds at the same cost as undocumented workers. Having 10-year-olds running heavy farm equipment also mitigates abortion bans on the back end.

Here it is but not poorly cropped

E-sports should be hyphenated, or at the very least stylized as eSports.

To be fair, Tesla autopilot does a decent job killing people in civilian applications so this feels like a natural move.

How can a shark even do cocaine without a blowhole?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetening_(show_business) gives a quick rundown.

In television, sweetening refers to the use of a laugh track in addition to a live studio audience. The laugh track is used to “enhance” the laughter for television audiences, sometimes in cases where a joke or scene intended to be funny does not draw the expected response, and sometimes to avoid awkward sound edits when a scene is shortened or more than one take is used in editing.

Here you go