Legal experts say question of legality of theft is unclear.

If I may introduce: your newest nightmare https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_diving_beetle

2025 obligatory alternatives to social distancing:

-Isolate in the office, just never go home (and keep working of course)

-Instead of not going to work, you can get a free brain worm at one of the new brain worm dispensaries

-ingest a lethal dose of Ivermectin

-Storm and plunder one of the official buildings on the list published on the Department of Patriotism’s website (must bring own gallows parts)

Says right there: they dug to find them. Actually finding them might have better chances elsewhere, on account of the bodies being elsewhere, but the light was better here and they didn’t have to walk that far.

Where does a 600 pound gorilla sit?

1. Take onions.
2. Pickle them.

Turns out Epstein didn’t commit suicide after all: He just fell out of his notoriously unsecured cell window on the basement floor while the cameras were off.

“Fell out of window.”

“He was on the ground floor.”

“Fell out of window and face-planted twenty-six times.”

This is the way

Countdown until Musk sues every single one of them for the crime, no treason of not giving him all their money.

No idea but that’s the point of view of that picture. The view clearly being my stance, not the series.

Not at all. Political enemies of the Trump clan will be checked and balanced at every turn.

And then have an out-of-body experience where you watch yourself doing that from the outside.

Look on the bright side, we’ll have so much raw data from the worst-managed possible country-sized control group. Except that they’ll probably react to attempts to document the results of their policies with book burnings and witch trials. Well, maybe we can smuggle in some camouflaged researchers or just watch the obituaries or something.

Countdown until it turns out that everybody associated with any competition to Musk’s companies just so happens to be a criminal Trump siccs his DOJ after: 5… 4…

The Onion writers: “Let’s go with this one, the real picks are too over the top.”

1. Not true at all. Vile lies spread by the Democrats.
2. Okay, maybe it is true, but it’s actually a good thing.
3. Okay, maybe the results are catastrophic, but it’s actually the Democrats’ fault. The solution is higher tariffs.

“Fuck that particular con, I have a president in my pocket now.”

Oh no, cover your ears, poor innocent American! You heard nothing.

This is almost as bad as when we had to carpet bomb another village to a crater last week to prevent the public from finding out that …

^{women have nipples too}