“It had the virtue of having never been tried.” - Admiral Kirk

I came in here expecting Riker Trombone.

When you go into a place that feels haunted your skeleton is just connecting to the local WiFi.

“This movie forced us to update our site’s code to account for decimals in the rating system.”

I don’t think the facts match the claim, but I completely agree with the sentiment.

For years, the ‘legit’ consumer has had to deal with ad interruptions and bad UI and service disruptions and having media removed from their library. Something that pirates don’t even have to think about. The music revolution that Jobs and Apple created with iTunes, which allowed people to just buy music and just own it and just use it however they want (no DRM) with an ease that made piracy look difficult and seem too risky to bother, never came for TV or movies or books or any other media category.

And now the streaming revolution has all but undone that progress as well. You don’t own anything, a company decides when you have or lose access to something, and even if you pay money for access you are still advertised to and your data is still sold off.

I don’t care if this is fake, KFC & Volkswagen stock would go through the roof.

“Haha! Got ‘em again!”

“Cap, why are you putting an 80-year fuse on that bomb?”

“Because they’ll never suspect it!”

Blood. In. The. Water.

The number of items in an express lane is never the same from store to store.

I remember once finding a store that had a 20-item express lane, and next to it a 10-item express lane!. The Limited Express lane!

Like that Learn To Draw meme,

“Now play the rest of the fucking score.”

A rollercoaster of emotions within the span of a sentence.

I missed the part where Aol. was promoting toxicity and hate while attempting a short-term grift on its users like Reddit and X have.

That fact that Aol. is still alive is amazing by itself. It’s just another sleazy, beleaguered company that used to be meaningful. You leave because other companies have better products, not because they offend your sense of morality.

(Or maybe they do.)

If you want an iPad in your pocket just buy a Pro Max.

All Of Apple’s Foldable iPhone Prototypes Have Visible Creases

Pirates: “Arr, hehe, yeah, we’ll send this right up the yardarm for ye.”

a paper sign with Marriott hotel logo resting next to a photo of muffins of indeterminate — but possibly blueberry — persuasion.

Someone had fun writing that article.

Even kaiju have to put their pants on one leg at a time.

“Dammit, not again.”

“This is all Mitch’s fault.”

“You’re probably wondering how I got into this mess…”

“Hax”

“You should see the other guy.”

“Don’t worry, O’Brian has a copy of me in his buffer.”