Every piece of this advice is absolutely brilliant and thoughtful. I’m really glad that you took the time to type it up. I think the diarrhea joke is hilarious and it would totally break the ice with me. It’s a hell of a first impression and it would definitely live in my head for a long time. The only thing I would add besides knowing your audience is that you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person that kind of takes some of the pressure off of you and in my experience I’ve found that to be very true.

What the actual fuck?

Nothing would make me happier than to see those braindead republicans catch the car, so to speak. They have absolutely no foresight whatsoever, they just think they can pray for a viable government into existence. Texas is such a joke and they think all the other states are just jealous they aren’t Texas, lol embarrassing.