Water well Verzasca Dam Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, left Orbital can of Coca-Cola lower case “t” television remote control the blurry Star Destroyers.

Extra long shoe horn. I eventually upgraded to a solid metal one when the cheap one broke.

People talk about the Harambe timeline, but Citizens United is when the shit started going sideways.

Nearly everyone close to me voted for Trump. I fucking hope they get deported.

Most of that sounds like work. They’re just going to buy it from a data broker.

Say it with me, “My wife has an inner ear infection.”

Connect it to the mustache?

Compost bin.

Appeasement.

When I worked third shift at a gas station, I called this little fella the Powerball Moth, because the paper you printed the tickets on was yellow and pink and I saw bunches outside on the windows, attracted by the lights inside.

We actually got a lot of moths then…much fewer when I look now.

I think they lost funding from USAID, so I don’t know what it is now.

This is a good one.

It is what it is.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

WD-40 and 3-in1 Oil, the olive oil and vinegar of the handyman world.

More like provoking, but that’s fair.

Why keep your other comments up though? You don’t remove a cancer by cutting out part of it.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

Deleted their comment after people expressed their disagreement. The sign of someone who is not-at-all a fucking coward.

The second photo is supposed to be the same dress? Looks like an homage, aka knock-off attempt to me. What happened to the shoulders?