There’s literally only seven words I don’t say on the internet and they are shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

Freddy Got Fingered you uncultured swine.

I was thinking Aphex Twin.

I wonder if asafoetida would work instead of onion?

I swear I’ve seen Sabrina Carpenter in the Dec 1 outfit.

Throw a fish in there too.

Should I blend the oil and onion together so there aren’t big chunks in it?

I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck up in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

It’s goddamned poetry.

I noticed a drop in scam emails.

I wanted a sautéed onion candle so I can get my roommate’s hopes up for a good dinner.

I think that’s where I got it from.

I’m old fashioned I get myself an eight ball on Christmas Eve and one tall hooker dressed like Mrs. Claus and one short one dressed like an elf.

Sharing is caring.

Is this Negative First Law of Robotics?

I’m not planning on doing surgery with it.

I’d like to be the filling in that Stone/Parker sandwich if you get what I’m saying.

Jennifer Lopez and Gwyneth Paltrow.

It’s a magical night tonight.

Yeah he’s dreaming about Bubba whipping out that foot-long.

Is that Gabe?