Iamsqueegee

It’s been proven with cat’s meows. Distinct among various regions. And, they’re based on how human babies cry in those regions IIRC.

Deep sea deathticle

These the same idiots that railed against paper straws?

That is exactly the donut bat’s POV.

To nobody’s surprise.

Simulated intellect. The same way that big, fake boobs sell products to a particular demographic, so do fake, big brains appeal to another.

Trunkvertible

Ba dum-dum, tissss

Vegetables. Purchased with all the intent of eating them before they go bad. I don’t eat them quickly enough and they go bad. There’s no in between stage. They were edible and now they are not.

It’s never too late for a retroactive abortion.

See Golgafrincham

See Golgafrincham

Pin the tail on the Donnie

Well. Fuck.

That’s a bingo!

Make your own opening elsewhere on the package.

Read it… dryly.

The Call of the Wild

Life, uh, finds a way.

Look on the back of the stems. That’s usually where you’ll find manufacturer’s stamps. At the same time, they kind of look like tarnished silver. Try polishing them!