My gf and I are poly. She has a gf. It doesn’t bother me at all. You should talk to your husband; his resentment isn’t necessary. It sounds like everyone (your daughter, her bf, his gf) are all aware of the situation and consenting. What’s the issue?
I am autistic, and honestly OP, I feel very similar. But based on the comments, I’m starting to think that we’re both narcissists haha
I have this particular issue with a house mate who is self-obsessed and wants to do nothing but brag about his charisma and intelligence to anyone who dares come downstairs for a split second. He’ll go on for hours, and re-tell everything if someone else comes in. He kind of caricature-ises this whole experience for me. He has trapped me in a convo for so long that I’ve had evening plans ruined, even after telling him multiple times that I’ve got to go. No point pretending with him, you literally have to just ignore his existence and leave. Grim.
With friends and family? It depends.
For friends, I care if they’re very close (1 of a handful of people), not because of the topic itself. What I’m really listening out for is how they have been affected by the experience.
For more distant friends, acquaintances, colleagues… generally no.
Same reason why people from the United Kingdom are called ‘British’, despite Northern Ireland not being in Britain.
There just aren’t better proper adjectives for these 2 countries.
While you can say ‘North American’ to mean anyone from North America and not specifically the US, I’m not sure there’s a fitting word that refers to anyone from North or South America. Although, at that point, the group of people you are talking about is perhaps too broad to be useful in most cases.