Hopefully he has a massive stroke.

Was the other person hanging upside down in a red and blue spandex costume?

It took me 2 solid hours to find a work around to get my parent’s speaker working again. Thanks Sonos!

I’m picturing a pack of elementary aged kids armed with crowbars derailing a full on Amtrak train.

What kind of battery life does it get? One of the mains draws for sticking with Fitbit for me was only having to charge once a week or so.

He would be stringy and flavorless.

I’m tragically white so I’ve never sunbathed, but I very rarely need sunscreen on my legs at all.

Don’t forget cigarettes.

I like to think of Jesus with like giant eagles wings and singing lead vocals for lynyrd skynyrd with like an Angel Band, and I’m in the front row, and I’m hammered drunk.

This one bums me out because Chad Smith is a great drummer and seems like such a a good dude.