My dad has recently been caught having an affair with his young personal assistant. Huge scandal; mom was very angry. Now they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. Mom moved out, the other woman moved in and I chose to stay with him because we’re super close; he’s like my best friend. Now mom’s telling me to go and live with her and go no contact with him cause he’s a bad person and by continuing having a relationship with him I’m condoning his actions and “ignoring her suffering”. My relationship with my dad hasn’t changed, I don’t see why I should end it.
Stick to your guns OP. People here are judging your Dad for cheating, but it sounds like your Mom has been actively alienating everyone around her for years. People who make life difficult for those around them will eventually find themselves alone. People eventually stop dealing with their bullshit, and move on in life. It sounds like you and your Dad decided to move in a less stressful, more fulfilling direction. He found love, and you found peace, while your Mom wants to continue sowing discord, drama, and chaos in your lives. I don’t blame you for rejecting her efforts, and choosing peace.
No, no, he cheated. If only he was open with it, it would be okay. But this is disgusting instead. Rather a honest asshole than an eye servant. Eventually, with this attitude you will succumb to stress and fall apart. Be honest instead. Before then, you can’t even work on not being an asshole.
I don’t fully agree with you, we don’t have enough details. From what i’ve read mom could have been abusive towards dad (at least emotionally), and that makes doing everything in the open pretty scary. I’d forgive someone who cheated to get out of an abusive situation.
Yes, you are correct but it seems very unlikely that he ran to his young assistant for help instead of some other trustee and then got in a secret relationship by accident.