Sorry to hear about her grandmother. It’s typically not fun going to funerals, and it sucks to feel bad when feeling good or even just level is hard to do these days. This isn’t an answer to your question, but rather a “I think I understand how you feel, sorta” thing. This empathy you speak of is why I couldn’t end up going to one of my best friend’s funeral today (…aside from the fact that it’s a very expensive plane ride away). I would likely fall apart if I was around his family, and that feels weird for me because I never met them. His dad reached out to me to tell me the sad news, and while I’m still devastated and processing it all, I don’t know exactly why I feel uncomfortable with going. Maybe it would hurt more, dunno. Sorry, friend.