Not talking suicide. But, I mean more like an age where you know you won’t be dating anybody and that you don’t care if you let some of your health slide. Get a little chubby, drink some beers that you never did before, smoke like you never did before when you spent years avoiding the stuff when you were younger.
Stuff like that. I think I might get into smoking when I’m more into my 40s or something. I don’t care, life would’ve long pass me by then, it isn’t like I’m going to be a successful individual at 55 or something.
Totally. Ruthless, and indiscriminate.
I try to remind myself that change is inescapable. For better or worse, things will always change. It might not be better, but at least it will be different, which gives me a sick glimmer of hope.
Change is good, inescapable sure, but without change there would be nothing. We have a tendency to fixate on the shitty bits. A lot of my depression always circles are fixation on shitty stuff happening around me. I’m still depressed, but looking around and counting the things that are going right helps me bring into focus how minimal the shitty stuff is. At the end of the day, I have all my fingers and toes, my heart’s still ticking, and the fickle removed that is our daily circumstance can change in an instant.