“Oh, don’t worry, these are actually the Meta Glasses Freedom©®™. They’re actually pretty innovative! I can go off-grid while still feeling so connected to all my feeds! Instead of recording to the cloud, I can use my new Freedoms©®™ to record moments directly to my brain using the new Facebook BAM technology. Yup, these babies don’t have a single semiconductor, but Zuck still managed to somehow run Brain Access Memory on them! The best part is how cheap they are! Nearly half the price, and you get a 10% discount on their AI subscription since these glasses don’t actually transfer any data. But that subscription lets the Meta Glasses Freedom©®™ assist me with directly accessing memories whether the glasses were present or not! It’s a pretty sweet deal, if you really think about it.”