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Hey it’s the weird lady who hates coconut milk
Only the shampoo bottles understand me.
I feel personally attacked. Are you me? What’s even going on?
In the shower is where I politely turn down women imaginarily hitting on me, on the grounds that I’m married irl.
Goddamnit…why do my arguments never go as planned.
They applaud my originality, where I had time between then and now to think of a comeback.
Me, the next shower, when I lost one IRL.







