It’s a traumatic part of growth. Every culture has a defined path you’re supposed to go down and pretend like you enjoy it but the reality of people is so much more complex than that we all hit the point where the contradictions between ourselves and the lives we are living becomes too much and changes need to be made. You can’t go back to pretending you are completely fine with what you thought you were fine with, you can only move forward. As for how to deal with this world in all its beauties and horrors now that you see it a bit more clearly, being around other real life humans who also see it clearly helps a lot. We weren’t meant to go through this alone.