I can’t say I never downvote anyone but I get into these comment chains from time to time where really no matter what I post whoever I’m talking to downvotes every response but I generally shy away from downvoting even things I dislike. I don’t want to fall into an echo chamber where all I see are only the things I agree with.

  • Zephyr@sh.itjust.worksOP
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    2 days ago

    Yeah but that aside I think most people enjoy or prefer fairness. Like what’s the point of rules if they aren’t fair, then they’re more like suggestions than rules.

    • velma@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      What would you have done if you got one of us in womensstuff to admit the rules weren’t applied fairly?

      • Zephyr@sh.itjust.worksOP
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        2 days ago

        There’s not really anything to do. If I was a member of the sub I would suggest changing that and likely leave if that wasn’t going to happen. Since I’m not a member there’s really not much of anything to do beyond answering questions like the one you gave me.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          2 days ago

          Then why DM me to ask in the first place?

          I’m sincerely asking. I want you to really think about it.

          If there was nothing for you to do about it, since you are not a member, why are you so concerned with womensstuff applying the rules of our community fairly?

          • Zephyr@sh.itjust.worksOP
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            2 days ago

            Well it’s more so a general concern but for that particular instance there was someone else in breach of the same rule I was. I messaged to apologize and just say hey, hope y’all got that other guy too kinda. Didn’t seem harmful to me but if you took offense then I apologize for that as well.

            • velma@sh.itjust.works
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              2 days ago

              I think you need to learn a bit more about how the fediverse works before you start stepping in to make sure moderators are doing their jobs correctly.

              You can find the moderators for the community listed in their sidebar. It’s also possible to look at other user’s modlogs depending on the instance you’re using. You would have been able to see that the other user got their comment removed and were also banned from the community.

              Instead, you sought out individuals from the community to tattle on them. That is almost always going to leave a bad taste in people’s mouths.

              • Zephyr@sh.itjust.worksOP
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                2 days ago

                Honestly I wasn’t thinking that deep about it. Was far more casual of a statement than this makes it out to seem. My main intention was to apologize which is what I wrote first. It’s not like I wrote an opus on the injustices of a particular community or anything. It was like a five word quip. So I apologize again it came off like that to you.

                • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                  2 days ago

                  The women’s communities on Lemmy get brigaded by men who are incensed at there being a space they’re not welcome in a lot. Daily.

                  When you reach out via a DM to tattle and, from my point of view, whine about others getting better treatment than you, it feels like yet another man trying to push boundaries.

                  We’re allowed to maintain our community the way we want and we’re allowed to reject criticism.

                  I appreciate that you weren’t trying to break the rules.

                  • Zephyr@sh.itjust.worksOP
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                    2 days ago

                    Honestly I ended up there by accident because I only browse all and new and it was my bad for not checking the sub rules first. Likewise, I feel like we’ve gotten some resolution between you and I and I wish you the best (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠).