So I’ve been wanting a little walking buddy lately. Probably a shih tsu mix or something. Something small that has a good personality and is available at the shelter. I’ve never had a dog myself before though and I had a couple of bad experiences with large off leash dogs when I was a small kid (I don’t think I was hurt but I very much do remember being chased and being very afraid) so I find myself still a little nervous around larger dogs I don’t know, especially if that dog is feeling excited or jumpy. A couple of gentler breeds are excepted in my head (golden and labs) and once I get used to a particular dog, I’m perfectly fine. I can leave other situations just fine by myself but I’m here asking for opinions from more experienced dog people. I suppose I’m afraid that having a dog myself would be like a magnet for other dogs while on walks that I might be uncomfortable with or that my being nervous could make a normal meet and greet go poorly. I just don’t want to adopt a dog and wind up putting it in a bad situation by accident. It’s also super common that I see escaped dogs when I’m out for walks by myself and others who walk their dogs without a leash.
Also, to say out loud, I am addressing my dog fears in therapy. It’s just not an instant cure, you know? It’s also possible I am way over thinking this.
Yes. Also, your dog will pick up on your nervousness and either get nervous themselves or become defensive, neither of which are ideal and could make for a bad situation if you’re ever at a park or out for a walk. Dogs are little copycats when it comes to mirroring their owner’s anxieties and behaviors, and even if you deal with your anxiety, the dog may have adopted it in the mean time and you’d have to work to repair that damage.
Basically, you’re smart to be asking these questions before taking on the responsibility of adoption. I’d recommend waiting until you’ve worked out your issues before potentially passing them on to your four-legged friend.
Yes. It is hard for a lot of dog owners to also separate their emotions out from their dogs. They just project project project, and this is why they are often terrible at training their dog.
And anxious weird people always have anxious weird dogs. Relaxed people have relaxed dogs, and when conflict does occur the dogs relax. When the owner can’t relax, it escalates the problem. My dog has gotten into fights, and if we are both chill, the dogs are chill and usually fine. But if there is a fight and one owner gets very upset/defensive/hostile, the dog cues on that and boom now your dogs hate each other.
I’ve even had other people’s dogs come out of no where, attack my dog (or ignore her warnings to back off), and the other owner goes into a full panic escalating the aggression between the dogs. Meanwhile I have to stand firm. Hell, half the time I have them separated and sitting and the other owner comes over panicking and their dog freaks out and attacks my dog again… and these people always always think dog behavior is some innate thing they have no control over. Crying and screaming and going into hysterics over dogs barking or play-fighting… I see it all the time in the local dog park, esp from new owners for designer dogs who have no dog experience, and zero emotional control of themselves, let alone their dog.
And they think my dog is some genius, because I can slap my hands and command her to stop and she immediately stops and disengages… no it’s because she’s trained to do that. Just like she is trained to stop and wait if she gets too far away offleash.