I think it was a slow-burn, building awareness after every incident that this wasn’t someone i wanted to be: it felt juvenile and embarassing. One day it reached a point where that awareness matched the blind rage i felt and allowed me to choose (with difficulty) not to do it in the moment. After that the choice got easier each time until the urge faded away. I still yell more than I’d like but I’m no longer destructive
I used to be a stereotypical wall puncher, it was so fucking embarassing. Been sober off the drywall dust for a few years now
What do you feel helped you move away from that?
I was never a smasher so to speak but anger was a big thing for me before I learned about boundaries and quit people pleasing
I think it was a slow-burn, building awareness after every incident that this wasn’t someone i wanted to be: it felt juvenile and embarassing. One day it reached a point where that awareness matched the blind rage i felt and allowed me to choose (with difficulty) not to do it in the moment. After that the choice got easier each time until the urge faded away. I still yell more than I’d like but I’m no longer destructive