It’s honestly a lot easier after the divorce. When I was living with her it was a constant caveman brain going “woman to mate with! Must mate!” And mate she did with another man.
I will say there are biological interests, but I’m far from being emotionally ready yet.
Therapist says I have to get to a point where I don’t freeze trying to talk to a woman first. I have done that, a couple of times now. Still not quite ready.
Interesting. Freeze in what way? The traumatic thousand yard stare way? Or the awkward stammering “hi my name is gorgeous you are peoplebeproblems” way?
It’s that “fight, flight or freeze” phenomenon. I get the memo in my head “hey, introduce yourself” then when I, say, get up out of the chair, right before I take that first step, the fear comes in from memories of my ex wife telling me how awful I am or how I never did enough around the house or how I didn’t work hard enough or how ill never get someone as good as her again.
It’s always been exhausting for me to go out (likely autism related, and the more I come to terms with, yes, I’m high functioning or whatever, but at least I am starting to figure out me now).
I have an ex wife who used to tease me about working part time and still feeling work exhaustion. (I was studying at uni at the same time though.) She was a piece of shit for that. Joke’s on her, now I make very good money and have a family and she’s god knows where. She’s a ghost. But let’s not allow any hauntings! 💪
Yeah, been there.
It’s honestly a lot easier after the divorce. When I was living with her it was a constant caveman brain going “woman to mate with! Must mate!” And mate she did with another man.
I’m sorry buddy. I hope life is better now. 🫂💙
It’s getting there. I found people to spend time with outside of the house. That helps a lot.
Awesome. No interest yet in pursuing another lady?
I will say there are biological interests, but I’m far from being emotionally ready yet.
Therapist says I have to get to a point where I don’t freeze trying to talk to a woman first. I have done that, a couple of times now. Still not quite ready.
Interesting. Freeze in what way? The traumatic thousand yard stare way? Or the awkward stammering “hi my name is gorgeous you are peoplebeproblems” way?
Yeah definitely the traumatic way.
It’s that “fight, flight or freeze” phenomenon. I get the memo in my head “hey, introduce yourself” then when I, say, get up out of the chair, right before I take that first step, the fear comes in from memories of my ex wife telling me how awful I am or how I never did enough around the house or how I didn’t work hard enough or how ill never get someone as good as her again.
It’s always been exhausting for me to go out (likely autism related, and the more I come to terms with, yes, I’m high functioning or whatever, but at least I am starting to figure out me now).
That’s a pretty shitty thing to say to someone.
I have an ex wife who used to tease me about working part time and still feeling work exhaustion. (I was studying at uni at the same time though.) She was a piece of shit for that. Joke’s on her, now I make very good money and have a family and she’s god knows where. She’s a ghost. But let’s not allow any hauntings! 💪
Yeah buddy, keep it up! I believe in you.