Congratulations?

Why have you made a clay bust of William Murderface?

It’s not just for old people. Anyone old enough to have a beloved piece of media can be targeted through nostalgia. You think Disney was going for ‘old people’ when they made all those direct to VHS sequels? Every stand-alone sequel to any original piece of media is a gimmick to milk your nostalgia, even if the original is only from a year ago.

Nostalgia needs to be returned to its original status as a form of mental illness.

Why have you stopped taking your meds?

Appa from Kim’s Convenience saying ‘No, you!’ to everything.

‘You’re deflecting.’

‘No! You are deflecting!’

Something about the little head weave and vacant smile lands deeply in the uncanny valley.

Think paintball guns that shoot the absorbent gel balls used to fill vases for cut flowers.

I might have a weird view of things but I don’t want to get rid of royalty, just take away any authority they have over the lives of themselves and others. They already live off others’ work. Let’s keep them as national pets.

‘Who’s a good king? Who looks nice and waves for the people?’

‘Is it me, <racial slur>?’

‘No! No talking! Bad! Smack you on the nose with a rolled up replica magna carta.’